Thursday, November 8, 2012

Fear of a Dead President

At two in the morning, I’m afraid our anonymous mormon would be in rough shape. While the dead of night is a fine place to begin any necromantic enterprise, it would have been ideal for him to have begun his attempted resurrection during the witching hour, that liminal period between one day and the next, where the boundaries between this world and the next are at their most pliable. 

That said, the strong jawline is a fine thing for an aspiring necromancer; when you take those first steps toward becoming a liche, it’s always good to know that you’ve got a decently shaped skull for when the combination of age and arcane emanations wears the very skin from your bones, leaving you with only those eyeless sockets to stare into the void between the worlds.

Of course, I can’t guarantee that this will bring a victory without a major restructuring of the Romney Campaign. You must be aware that it will take four years before he’s up for reelection. While that seems fine, zombie campaigners tend not to last quite that long. Instead, he’d need to act sooner, to turn it into something more like a military campaign. 

It would be a campaign to win the hearts, minds, and rended corpses of the American people. 

Can it be done?


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